I was sent this a couple of days ago. It is an accurate representation of the thought process of your dog or cat. I hope you enjoy it as much as i did.
I have no idea who wrote this, so I cannot give proper credit. I do, however, appreciate their creativity and mastery of the obvious. ;]
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary…
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…
Day 983 of my captivity…
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…
Jury Duty – Why oh Why?!
I received a jury summons in early December to appear today. After being directed to a small room, and sitting there for an hour, the judge informed us that today’s jury trial request had been recalled. We were released to continue with our daily activities, such as going to work, or going home, or whatever the case may be.
To be honest with you, I was not disappointed. I do not believe this morning was a waste. I was not disappointed because I got the opportunity to fully participate in one of our most fundamental rights. The right to a trial by a jury of our peers. Where else in this world can any citizen make a request that their arguments for defense against accusation be heard, and judged, by a panel comprised of persons from within their own community? And subsequently, receive a fair and impartial decision by those peers?
This Country, this Constitution, is based on rights we believe are an integral part of each and every one of us. I heard sixteen people, out of forty two in the room, during the time we were waiting, how inconvenienced they had been having to appear this morning. Everything from having to take off work, to adjusting child care schedules, to simply being annoyed with the interference of their daily routine, was voiced. I am sitting by the coffee pot (after all, it was early) thinking that these people just don’t get it. Worse yet, that they forgot it!
Do these people actually believe that they can sit on their backsides and have every right we, and our parents, and their parents, and so on, that worked so hard for, and sacrificed so much for, magically function for and apply to them? Do they really believe that they will never lose these rights? That they, as an individual citizen of this great Country, need not make any effort to support the rights they enjoy?
Do these people even realize why we are here today? A person is accused of some civil or criminal offense. It is the RIGHT of that person, just as it is with any one sitting in this room, if accused, to demand a trial by jury. The judge cannot refuse. Why? The accused, whether it be you, me, or our neighbor, has this right. But. It will only work if we, as citizens participate and support this right. What would happen to this right if nobody showed up? What if you were sitting in a court of law, accused of some crime, and no one showed up to hear you?
Why, oh why, do we not stress to our children, and again to every adult, the importance of participation in supporting our rights?
Did you know
Did you know that you also have the right to walk into any court room, in any state, city, or county, as long as the court is not a closed court, to watch and listen to the proceedings? Did you know that you do not have to ask permission of anyone? You have the right to view anyopen court proceedings anywhere in this country. Do you realize how important that right is? How do you think we, as citizens, can protect our right from abuses? Try it some time. Walk in to your local court house and sit in on any court proceeding.
Golf Course Management – How to play better
This week I had the opportunity to work with a few new golfers. I was surprised that they wanted some pointers to improve their game. I have always been amazed at the number of amateur golfers who spend thousands of dollars on equipment, green fees, and the odd paraphernalia but won’t take thirty minutes to an hour and fifty dollars to exponentially increase their playing capability. We discussed a few areas of play where felt they needed the most help.
The first and most important area where all amateur players could improve is on their short game. But, this article isn’t about practicing these specific and albeit important aspects of the game. I’ll discuss these issues in later articles. Instead, we will focus on general game play while on the course.
There are three elements which govern how well you score during your round. Most amateurs will subconsciously consider maybe two at most. These elements are, lie, alignment, and the swing. Read this article carefully, then spend some time on the range practicing each of these elements individually a outlined in the practice drills section. I’ll bet you see a marked improvement on your next outing.
The first element you should always keep in mind is the lie of the ball. Sounds simplistic doesn’t it. Think about it. How many players in your group, including yourself, think they can reach the green from the rough using the same club as if they were in the fairway? The lie of the ball will always tell you what shot to hit, and consequently, which club you should use.
Let’s talk about a few of the different lies you will encounter. Let’s also assume that your par 4 drive off the tee box left you in the fairway. We don’t want to make this too difficult do we. When you arrive at your position and after an appropriate amount of time admiring your exceptional drive, look at the terrain and how the ball lies. Are you on a down slope or an up slope? Is the ball above or below your feet? Is the ball in a divot? Is the ball in a bare spot? For the sake of this example, let’s say your ball is on a slight down slope, 143 yards from the front of the green where the pin is in the middle. The green slopes from back to front and is slightly elevated from the fairway.
Fig. 1. Loft
Now, in a perfect world, with perfect weather, and a perfect swing, on a perfect driving range, you hit your 8-iron 156 yards, your 9-iron 147 yards, and your pitching wedge 133 yards. Which iron do you use? By remembering the lie of the ball tells you the shot to hit, you take out your PW. Why? Because the down slope lie is going to decrease the loft of the club, effectively turning your pitching wedge into a weak 9-iron as shown in Figure 1. A slope as small as 4 degrees can change a single club. If we had chosen the 9-iron, then the slope would be as if we were hitting an 8-iron, and so on.
Now that you have the right club for the shot, you must, I’ll say it again, you must, make sure that your are properly aligned to your target. It defeats the purpose of every shot to line up to the wrong target. Most amateurs always line up too far to the right (right-handed players) and always have the ball too far forward in their stance for iron shots.
Fig. 2. Alignment
Stand behind your ball and look toward the target. Raise the club and use the club shaft to line up the ball to the target. It is easier to close one eye and view down the club shaft as a sight-line to the target. Then bring your eyes back down to where you ball lies. Pick a spot on the ground, a leaf, divot, brown spot, something that is 3-6 inches to a foot or 18 inches down that target line like the alignment mark shown in Figure 2. Now place a club parallel to that target line about 8 inches inside the target line. As an experiment, walk back behind the club and look down its target line. I bet you won’t realize just how far left of the target line the club appears to point.
This illusion is exactly why right-handed amateur golfers tend to line up too far to the right, and left handed golfers too far left. Just know that it is an illusion that you must train your brain to accept. It is very important to always use some type of alignment tool, such as an unused club or even those alignment rods you can purchase at your local golf shop. Even the best professional players use some form of alignment aid when practicing. It will help you become accustomed to the true alignment rather than what you think is the correct alignment.
Remember that your golf ball lies on a slight down slope 143 yards from the front of the green. Address the ball, taking your normal stance for a PW. Now move the ball back in your stance. A general guide is to move your stance left (right-hand players) the width of your foot. Adjust your shoulder line and hip line to be at the same angle as the slope. Make sure you maintain this shoulder and hip angle throughout your swing. Figure 3 shows Annika Sorenstam addressing a down hill lie. Note the ball is further back in her stance.
While coaching amateur players on the range, I often tell them I want them to try for a target slightly farther away than what they normally hit the current iron they are using. For example, if a player normally hits an 8-iron 155 yards, with all things being perfect, I ask them to hit the ball to a target that is 160 yards away. Each and every time, these players swing much harder than normal in an attempt to get the ball only five yards further. They also line up to the new target more to the right than they should. They also do not consider the lie of the ball that I just placed for them. Notice a trend?
The lie of the ball will tell you what shot you should hit to reach your target. The alignment to the target line will ensure that the shot hit is on the right line. The swing, however, is often based on their remembering the distance and trying to swing to meet that distance. This is the opposite of what they should be thinking. Here is what they, and you, should be thinking.
You determined from the lie of the ball that you should hit a PW to reach your target. You just went through the alignment drill to determine your stance at address. Now, what you should be thinking is making a smooth swing, forgetting about the target, and forgetting about the alignment. The lie and alignment elements are already setup correctly. You should be concentrating only on your swing at this time. Once you learn to properly read and interpret the first two elements, forget about them. Make your normal swing. In our example above, you have a slight down slope and a specific distance, which determined the club. You then took your stance, adjusting for the down slope, and properly aligned to the target. There is nothing else you should be thinking about other than making a normal and smooth swing, keeping your shoulder line and hip line parallel to the slope.
Drills on the Range
If you are lucky enough to have a range where the terrain is varied in slope, quality of the grass, and has a large number of targets, you’ll find that your practice sessions will be far more productive more quickly than a range with a flat teeing area and consistent grass.
Step 1. Change the lie of the ball. Place your golf ball in front of a tuft of grass simulating short rough. Pick a target. Now determine what club you should use. I’ll give you a hint. Take one extra club when grass may be between the club face and ball. Add another club length if the grass is even taller.
Step 2. Use the club shaft drill to determine the target line. Place a club parallel to the target line so that you consistently achieve the proper alignment. When addressing the ball, make sure the distance from the alignment club to your left and right foot is the same.
Step 3. Forget about Step 1 and Step 2 and make your normal swing. Don’t think about the ball being in front of some taller grass. Don’t think about whether you are lined up to the target correctly. Hit The Ball!
Once you master these three elements, you will notice a definite increase in pure shots hit — Your shots are right on target with the proper distance allowing you a far greater opportunity to score less. Mastering these three elements apply to every shot, whether you are laying up on a par 5 or your tee shot on a par 3.
Tee it up and hit it well!
Apollo 11 – Forty years later
The Apollo 11 mission to land man on the moon is a source of great debate whether it was faked or an actual historic event. You chose to believe what you want. Personally, I believe we achieved a feat not since matched. Regardless of the geo-political issues of the time, a common goal was defined for the nation, we experienced uncommon efforts by hundreds of thousands of people, and ultimate sacrifices were made by a few.
Launched on July 16, 1969, it carried Mission Commander Neil Alden Armstrong, Command Module Pilot Michael Collins, and Lunar Module Pilot Edwin Eugene ‘Buzz’ Aldrin, Jr., as seen in this NASA media photo. On July 20, Armstrong and Aldrin became the first humans to land on the Moon.
Although Apollo 11 was a huge success, I would like to remind everyone of the tragic loss of the AS-204 mission crew. Command Pilot Virgil I. “Gus” Grissom, Senior Pilot Ed White, and Pilot Roger B. Chaffee died in a fire during a command module launch pad test. The AS-204 mission was re-designated Apollo 1 in honor of the crew. It is unfortunate that sacrifices like this occur, but it is in sacrifices like this of a few that we as a whole succeed.
We went to explore the Moon, and in fact discovered the Earth.
One of My fondest memories growing up was watching Walter Cronkite reporting on the Apollo program from the “Moon Desk” on the CBS Evening News. His passing is our loss.
As a young pre-teenager, I remember my dad buying an Estes rocket kit of the Saturn 1B. I spent hours in my room painstakingly cutting fins and gluing tubes. Finally, this monster of a rocket was complete. The Saturn 1B model rocket had room for four engines. I had two. We took the rocket, the launch pad, and the home-made electronic launcher to the park. Come to find out, two engines were perfect for the weight of this model. The launch was realistic in time as the real launch, the engines bellowed smoke, the model shook on the pad, and the rocket slowly lifted off. It’s flight and recovery was flawless.
I wonder what Walter would have said.